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Try To Stay ALive [25 Jul 2005|09:11pm]
[ mood | good ]

Odd Balls??
Gutter Ball FACE

I went bowling today. It was an experience. Of course I lost. It was a delight, actually.
I decided that my bowling name should be Lady Fingazz.
Except I can't even handle a ball because I have these weak wrists and dainty flute player fingers.
Peter said I'd have better wrists if I masturbated more.
I said giving out handjobs would be even better.

Chain smoked, too.

Why am I writing in my livejournal?? Happy 40th to my father. Yeah, young parents.
So, here's to my entrapment.
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Ride Easy! [24 Jul 2005|12:55pm]
[ mood | okay ]

I Love Heroin
Well You Mes-A-Mer-Ize Me

Summer is still cool, I'm just on a break from fun. I don't know what that was all about. The mind can pull some weird stunts that your body doesn't know how to control. What I'm really trying to say is, is that you only love me for my brain. Shallow. For just a week I was honest with myself and I thought I should face the music like the way I used to. Because retro is in, duh.

I need to listen to more Wilco. Oh it's taken me too long to catch on to this band.

I need to work on my AP assignment so I can allow myself to die before the summer is over.

Whatever, I'm ready to go back to school. That's just bad. Basically, I'm just anticipating how stressed out I'm going to be. And I get off on stress, so I'm just crazy with sexual deprivation right now.

Last night was alright. I'm all about new kids. I'm all about passionate band talks.

Just put some effort into me, you won't regret it.
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TIPSY TUESDAY [22 Jun 2005|01:40pm]
[ mood | And What? ]

title or description

Um...so LiveJournal is so 2004 and I'm so 1977. Check it.

Well, you know. It's summer and all. Oh oh oh I cannot believe.

I was in Florida for that band trip. The more I reflect on it, the more I hate it. That's just me though. I liked Epcot though. I also liked that I got so sick of people that I turned to literature as an escape. Well, I hope to resort to it more often. Any book that keeps it real.

I don't know what there is to be said thus far into my summer. In all honesty, I don't want to put up with any(thing)(one) this summer. I just won't have it. Really, I just want to remember it all. Like, Tipsy Tuesdays and playing dirty and hopping fences and back rubs. And hot dates. OH, and game on to all of you.

And I know I'm behind in my indie rock (or whatever it's called these days), but I would fornicate with Of Montreal. Because I'm almost as scene as Naperville girls. Almost. I'll never be as punk rock as the middle schoolers though. Even though I do love D.I. Oh punk rock, I'll shake hands with you on occasion.

New Summer Loves
♥ Sangria
♥ Reading
♥ Gardening
♥ Recreational Swimming
♥ Being Bronzen
♥ Sleeping Outside
♥ Fudgesicles
♥ Canned Heat
10 comments|post comment

It's Not Only That [15 May 2005|02:45pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

Golden Golden I Am Golden

Oh! Even more dancing. Nothing like waking up and having dry sweat caked to your bod. Unless it's dry semen. You heard me. Trunk was excellent. Except for people getting all up on me. Or maybe I like it?

Wonder years. Yes please and thank you.

I love parties with decorations and coconut cups. Oh, too much. How wonderful.

Dream Crusha. That is who you are.

So last night on the Phishing Report, there was an excellent cover of "Sweet Jane" by the Velvet Underground. I would like to call it heavenly. Wait- I will.

If I could eat one thing right now...mark my words, it would be an entire bottle of Pamprin.
Chocolate covered Pamprin.
5 comments|post comment

Suck This [09 May 2005|08:58pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

Janis Joplin
Oh Lord


Well...this weekend was nice to say the least. I can't go so long without dancing. It's bad for my health. Oh the combination of dancing and being happy. Saturday as well. Minus dancing, more cheers. Oh god, so much dancing.

Day by day, I fall further away from the contemporary. Then again, day by day I become happier.

I'm not looking forward to my band trip to Florida. First off, I hate Florida and all it's glory. Except Oranges. Otherwise, I will never understand the basis of its appeal. It's hot, and sticky, and tacky. Disney, yeah, it just does not do it for me. With the exceptions of Little Mermaid and...Fantasia. Those, however, are more like classical works of art. The Mona Lisa's and Starry Night's of cartoons if you will. Yeah, even the Little Mermaid. Well, maybe that could be like...I don't know, something less classy? Fantasia, no one can argue that. Goddamn Florida. And I have to practice for it during the week of finals. And wear marching band get-up's in the Floridian heat. My heart will explode and I will suffocate in FRIZZZZZZZ. This is one band thing I will refuse to be hardcore about. The New York trip though...right on.

I just thought I'd update you on my weekly obsession. Grateful Dead is in. I caught on so late.

Also, beware: Menstrual Cycle.
I can't take school anymore. Just not happening. The only thing keeping me going is the Harlem Renaissance, OH GOD I love it.
Also- I started an art gallery in my room. Fill it, please.
I will also have two tattoos...I'm positive. I think I should get a tattoo behind my parent's back. Just because I ought to add more drama into my life. Wait, maybe I should do ecstacy...or have an affair with a teacher...or go goth. Wait, I'm not a character on Degrassi. Oh poo.

Either way. Free as a bird.
3 comments|post comment

Milky White Thighs...Cut It [02 May 2005|02:59pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Bleeding Heart

Alas, I shock even myself. Two entries so close in date. Yeah, well, you can suck it chronologically.

I am so frustrated with (mostly) everything right now. Not even stressed or overwhelmed, just frustrated with problems that should be of no concern to me. Everyone's face has become a blur to me. The people are now a crowd, the crowd is now infinite. I feel like there's a spotlight chasing at the heels of my shoes and it's angry that I'm not willing to perform. I wish I was made of metal!

Mostly my English class is to blame. Thank god we're done with poetry. So I don't have to listen and read absolute trash about cliché steamy love scenes. Maybe that's it, I'm sick of sex. No, probably not. But I'm sick of it as a tool and as a laugh and as an inspiration. It's like a natural resource and people are milking it for all it's worth. Hey, it pays. I hope that we jack up the prices on it and go to war with our genatalia. Uggh, who am I kidding. I'm probably the number one offender of sexual innuendos and so on. I just hate it in the cliché light that is being thrown up everywhere. Why are we drawn to dirty things like rape? Why is that so fascinating? Maybe we're all just sickfucks. Yep...it's gotta be that. All in all. I will continue to exert sexuality because I don't feel like I'm a cliché anymore, whereas I used to.

I could literally pull every strand of my hair right now. And I have a lot of hair.
I could literally get lost right now. Even if it's in myself.

What is with all this fence sitting on my behalf?
5 comments|post comment

There's No Relief For the Bleeding Heart [01 May 2005|11:37am]
[ mood | NON EXISTANT ]

Yellow Submarine
Would You Believe Me?

I was supposed to be grounded this entire weekend, but as usual my parents gave up on disciplining me. I think that's the best idea. They tell me I'm grounded, I shape up during the week, never mention being grounded, and then get like a half-punishment. This weekend's being 9:30 and 10:00 curfews. However, I worked around them...as usual. I just don't learn from deterence.

Friday was pretty nice. I got an A on a Chemistry quiz I didn't study for. I'd say that's excellent, seeing as though Chemistry is my worst subject. Physically, not socially. Then I sort of sat around doing nothing when I got home. Although, I did talk to one of my MySpace friends. That was a nice conversation. Worth my time, indeed. Then Catie asked me to go pants shopping with her, uuugh the devil's work. Then we talked about personality over tea. Tropicana tea at that. The Boys (Andy, Sam, Keith, Sean) came over, even though I was in my sweatpants. It's okay, I look hot all the time. We ate birth control pills and did PCP.

Saturday surprised me as well. I was ready just to accept my grounding, but Catie wanted to go to The Most Beautiful Spot and my parents permitted me to. We also picked flowers and pressed them in our little books. We went to get ChoCho and ate. Went to my house for the slumber party. Gossiped with Pooch basically all night. He learned my favorite Rilo Kiley song. That's right, Pooch and I are somewhat like BFFs. Oh 13 year old baby brothers. Andy came over. It was reggae night and Phishing Report night. Had some laughs. Oh, then we started to watch Yellow Submarine. The art was really neat, but the blue guys really creeped me out.

Woke up. Ate Krispy Kremes. Hot bitches left. And now hopefully my mom will take me to get a CD? I forgot all about doing homework. Good thing that they're both writing assignment. I am the master of last minute writing assignments.

Also, my parents found my MySpace and were upset about the use of the 'f'-word and pictures of Anthony touching my boobs. So, that was probably one of the most embarassing moments in my life.

I feel fine on this Sunday afternoon. Maybe I'll look for my watercolor paints. Mostly, I'll just enjoy my on-the-fence mood. Bittersweet? It's just not at any extreme, which is different. Not off the richter. I wonder how LowRay's night was. And if Andy got home alright. Hmm.
7 comments|post comment

Eyeliner Day [26 Apr 2005|04:41pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Sylvia Plath

So I'm back on my Plath fix. It's about time. I only aspire to be her, so I better go stick my head in the oven. No, but she is what I'd like to call a hero. A literary hero, I guess. I love my fellow heterosexual suicidal feminist writers. She is genius. And I won't hear anything else.

I'm also on a Breeders fix. I think everyone should be.

On top of that, I've been practicing my flute a lot. Some day last week I practiced for two hours. It's because I'm trying to lose hand fat, durrr. No, it does seem like all this tocando a la flauta is paying off. Wind Ensemble got invited to play Carnige hall next year. I'd have to say that's the biggest honor of my life. I hope it goes through. Basically, I could give my performance, walk out of the building, and have no regrets if a random hoodlum shot me for my organs. He'd probably take my brain, hair, or ovaries. I'm pretty sure of it.

I am so stubborn. My feet are rooted into the ground. I can't blame it on gravity, because my head is so high above the ground and I won't let myself lie to you. How can two things from the same entity be in such different places. And to think what I'd be like if my head was in the ground and my feet in the air.

These are the times I wish I could say, "I'm going for a drive". And these are the times I wish I could keep myself in jars, boxes, and baskets.
9 comments|post comment

You Guys Wanna Go Blading? [18 Apr 2005|02:47pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Poly Styrene

I can't recap Spring Break. There was Catie's Birthday Party with the gangstaz and bonfires. Overall, 10 out of 10.

So, I miss punk rock and some of my old friends. I think I'll invite them out here and we can drink wine and gab about penis sizes. Except, we won't listen to punk rock because Jess and I were alone on that stage of our lives. So I guess we'll listen to Hanson and middle school dance songs? Yeah, that sounds about right. I never thought I'd miss my old friends. Maybe I just want a girls night out. I love those. We could eat ice cream and talk about vaginal itch. Not that it differs from my life now. Who knows. Either way, I plan on phoning Amy C and Alyssa and telling them to have a slumber party with me OR ELSE.

Why am I product of 89???

Listening to this makes me remember sitting in Jess's house and being best friends and eating candy salad and recording ourselves singing the Ramones whilst eating Mexican candy. It was pretty alright when I think about it. Then again, St. Charles has it's perks. Well, not saying Wood Dale ever had a perk. I'd probably take St. Charles to Wood Dale anyday. There's a lot of hot bitches here.

Alyssa too. We're pretty different people, but we loved scandal and smoothies and the Little Mermaid and that was enough for us. Boy Crazy, indeed. Aaah, Alyssa and I had so much fun hanging out. SHABANG. After all, she was the first person to talk to me when I moved to Wood Dale.

Amy C is a totally different story. Amy was probably my first best friend, because we had the same birthday. I have vivid memories of Amy and I painting out nails with patchouli scented nail polish and talking about Seth Green. And Sifl & Ollie. And how we snowmobiled in her backyard and I fell off. I remember when I wanted snow pants but my dad wouldn't buy them for me, so Amy called and left a message at my house saying how badly I needed them.

Can you believe this?

Rip them down/Hold them up/Tell them that/I'm your gun/Pull my trigger/I am bigger than-

So this weekend was pretty alright. My ass is tight from blading...away from the cops.
6 comments|post comment

You Aren't My God. [31 Mar 2005|12:45pm]
[ mood | Mmeh. ]

Picture Perfect
So Be It.

Passed my time by seeing the Ring 2 on Sunday with Andy, Sam, Peter, and these two girls. I screeched. I went home and listened to mother fucking Word Jazz. It was pretty intense, there was flutes in it. And bass drums.

I left the house pretty early on Monday to do the devil's work, or pants shopping with Catie. I hate pants shopping. Got some fly new shades via Catie. Went to Leroy with some hot bitches. First time, yeah. There were Slipknot kids and McDonalds bags. I had another chocolate sundae too.

Tuesday was pretty laid back. I'm all ambition and no rebellion. And I'm cool with that.

Yesterday I was at my old house for most of the day. I was unsure of my feelings. I didn't ponder leaving the house until Peter called me, but I didn't even hang out with him. These hot bitches showed up at my door and I looked disgusted. Saw a gigantic worm. Tried out some hot ponytails. I think that Selena is my gaurdian angel. Ginny bought lots of pizza, that was nice. Jim Morrison is a hot drug addict. Even Panda would agree. GROSS OUT. The Alternative ended horribly.

So right now I'm sitting around. I wish my mommy would've called me to go to lunch. DAYUM. Um, yeah...PUSSY.
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MALL RATZZZ [27 Mar 2005|10:26am]
[ mood | nauseated ]

Who Even Knows
Why Not?

Thursday afternoon was the beginning of spring break. I hung around Andy, but my mother decided I needed to be home at 10:30. One can only imagine how angry I was, but I decided not to sacrifice my entire break over a few hours.

I had plans with Olivia and Amber to go to Woodfield on Friday. Even though I had bread to spend, I only purchased one skirt- which I love. After the mall experience, Olivia invited me to hang out with her friends, but I ended up back home. Upon that, I telephoned Lorie and actually walked to her house. Went to the Lounge and talked about tits, called my mother to ask if I could sleep over, and went to Herzog's. Along the way I had a chocolate sundae and met a dog that I DON'T LIKE. Yeah, the night was full of squeeling, teenage mustaches, jocks, and puke. I'm a home wrecker. Overall, I enjoyed myself?

Unlike the excitement of the previous night, Saturday didn't hold much for me. I came back from Lorie's and my mother dragged me to the mall once again. Except Charlestown mall is a giant freak show. Can't complain though, I got my mock-Birkenstock sandals for 26-dolla. Ugh, Saturday was basically mother-daughter day. After mall-ing, I think we went to another mall, this being the Geneva Commons. I watched my mom get her haircut while the hair dresser gave me tips on how to sneak into clubs and while I overhear conversations about ex-heroin addict girlfriends turning their boyfriends into vegetables. You learn something new everyday. My mom and I went to Jewel and a lot of people from school worked there. A lot. I ate two tacos and got picked up by Catie and Melissa. We went to Caribou and saw that hot bitch Alex-O (who I want to see orelseiwilldie). After that I learned I need shotgunning practice (or else I ruin lives) and that gangsta rap is the shit.

Today I have to finish cleaning my old house and we'll see if I even want to do anything after that. If so, it'll probably be with Sam or Andy. Yeah.
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Butter [21 Mar 2005|04:19pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Oh Childhood

Spring break. It's so close, so close, so close. One birthday celebration during that break. Birthdays birthdays birthdays. I'm fucked when grades come though. SUPER. I start driving with my class on Wednesday and I have zero hours of driving completed. Thanks parents.

Um, back to spring break. I hope it's as good as other breaks, or better because of weather. The weather better pull through. I want to buy sandals. There's so many people to see too. It's all mind boggling, really. What I want most out of spring break is good times, sandals, weather, and dance parties. And other things.

OHYEAH. I want to listen an entire broadcast of The Phishing Report and I want to hear Word Jazz again. OH, and Fantasia. Yeah, and make a list of songs.
3 comments|post comment

-Ane, -Ene, -Yne. [14 Mar 2005|04:34pm]
[ mood | exanimate ]

title or description
Long Time No See!

Gah, I haven't updated since Feburary something. That's mostly due to groundings and moving. I was grounded for a week + a month, but that got lifted because I'm a sweet talker. I moved over by Lorie's, my phone number is the same you lucky bitches.

Jessica came over this weekend, it was saucy. I love hearing robot sounds outside my windows in the middle of the night and how I'm able to hear flatulance coming from my uncle's bedroom. I hung out with Andy and Seany Jay this weekend, it was nice. I hope I see more of their faces.

I feel like I'm missing pieces of me, which is weird. With the exception of today, I've been so happy. It's such a change. I'll even try to pull myself out of my emotional pits because I don't want to dwell on those anymore. It's like, liberation. My hobby. I need something to entertain me right now. A new passion, or a renewed passion. Like a good book or maybe I just need to start writing again. Yeah, it's got to be the English language.

ACID ROCK, I can dig it
6 comments|post comment

[21 Feb 2005|02:01pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Addict Of The Year
Word Jazz

I live for four day weekends, more so than anything. As well as psychedelia.

Thursday I ate orange chicken specials at the mall and made a Taco Bell run in Tyler's gigantic automobile.
Friday I discovered crime television and Rajneesh. I saw Alex Ochoa work and tried to climb on roofs with Catie, Melissa, and Daniel.
Saturday had it's good parts. I like a lot of the people I was with. I enjoyed Ginny's guitar playing and the Tainted Love sing-a-long. I hated freaking out, but I loved my crayons and I loved how I thought.
Sunday moved slowly. I was so comfortable. Nee Cole. I was enlightened by Word Jazz. Oh, and it was Panda's birthday celebration. He's classy with his paper cups. I really enjoyed everyone last night. I had a lot of slow moving fun.
Monday I woke up with pink eye. Quarantine me. I hope I don't go to school tomorrow. I was watching a little bit of the movie The 60's and I thought it was great. Right now I just want to collapse in my bed and listen to soothing things.

If I could buy two things right now, I'd buy that 60's movie and I'd buy this pyscadelic rock compilation that my launch cast keeps playing.
4 comments|post comment

Elementary My Dear [13 Feb 2005|09:20pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I'd Take Them All

Whoa...I keep forgeting tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I think tomorrow that I will just be really bitter and typical. I will tell human emotion to suck it.

I hung out with a record of sixteen people on Saturday. The creepy, the dreamy, and the ones who just want to have sex with me. Ah, and the ones who torture me with staple guns. Oh man. I love weekends. I also love humidifiers filled with heroine and crack.

SO. Four day weekend coming up. I hope to hang out with 20 people in one night.
2 comments|post comment

You Make Me So Wet [06 Feb 2005|07:44pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

You Feeling Me?

I really just posted so I could use the above posted photo. Mmm hmm, my fetish picture.
Trunk is Wednesday. I'm pretty excited. Yeah...about that.
1 comment|post comment

The Streets Are Too Big For Yr Video Game Heart [03 Feb 2005|09:09pm]
[ mood | Disgruntled ]

Last Dance

Yeah, so I guess I have a restraining order from the computer because my GPA dropped .1 points. Point one points. My creepy snooping parents who worry about the health of my vagina. How creepy.

However, I'm not grounded from weekends or STDs. Party on!

I think with my time not spent on the internet, I will create my homemade valentines. I will even put time into trying to be witty. Uhhh huh.
2 comments|post comment

CREEPY [24 Jan 2005|01:35pm]
[ mood | surprised ]

Exactly Like This.

Man. Finals were not an experience. I got an A+ on my science fiction story, I guess I'm proud of that.

Thursday night began my birthday celebrations. I didn't have to wonder where Alex O was.
Friday, did some gifting.
Saturday was delicious. I love celebrating my birth. I love how fly I am with matching accessories and turquoise. My birthday was way cooler than the description of it. There's just so much, and so many people. Everyday, what a time. I didn't steal virginiTAY, and I am glad I didn't. If you know what I mean. My syphillis is bad enough.

Can you believe it. Michelle got me "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain" by Pavement. ♥

AWESOME. I got another Miss America pagent letter. I think I should get sponsored.
9 comments|post comment

Sea Monsters, Nuns, and Children. [17 Jan 2005|01:46pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]


Finals are going to be a bit of a downer. I guess I need to do well or my parents are going to make some 'serious changes' in my life. I think that means not having fun, and having my pousoi taste like cobwebs rather than a deep dish pizza. Yes, you heard me- deep dish pizza.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday were nice. Chaos aside, that is. Friday I ate cashews. I met some cool people on Saturday. And Sunday, I had a delicious Mexican meal at Anthony's house. Oh, and apparently there is room for two in my vagina. Hm, figures.

AH! So many people to deflower on my birthday. So many. Even cobwebbed pousois, and sandy pousois.

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. day. I hope you all remembered that.
5 comments|post comment

Oh, and by the way- suck it. [11 Jan 2005|06:46pm]
[ mood | Um... ]

title or description
What About My Lifestyle?

I don't remember what has happened since January 4th.
However, I do remember some of this weekend. Like having sing alongs to the Beatles. I know, the Beatles. Usually, I say 'no thank you', but this time I enjoyed it.

My birthday is in 11 days, this is off the hook. I have 4 days of celebration. Thursday night, all of Friday, some of Saturday, and maybe Sunday. I want every moment to be intense. Like Degrassi on steroids.

My birthday wish is for someone to touch my...pousoi.
6 comments|post comment

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